Well, I'm at school. Since the introduction of a early morning class I've hardly been on time because my sleep schedule is completely fucked. My classes are all rank-able by saying a four letter word that rhymes with mail. And relationships have never been so confusing to me.
All in all I'm screwed no matter what I do... a nap would be nice
Tuesday 25 October 2011
Thursday 20 October 2011
Nevermore
Sometimes I think about suicide, it's such a... creative use of the carcass we call a body, we scar it, drug it into unquenchable distraught, and then die, becoming no more then fertilizer for the worms as our body is laid to rest for all eternity.
Usually, I think I'd hang myself after eating my sleeping pills and whatever other drugs I could find, just to have a plan for what to do when shit royally hits the fan and I'm left with nothing but a empty dream turned nightmare. It's going to happen you know. I'll lose my love over constant arguing about how he never talks and how I'm too clingy. I'll lose my friends after I turn bitter and shun them like useless sacks of debris. And I'll lose my mind last, sanctioned by dwindling reasons to live and prospering abysmal thoughts of the best way to take the worlds attacks and repel them right back.
This is me thinking on a normal basis, no call for alarm is required, no phone calls need making, and nobody needs to tell me everything is alright, nothing ever is.
If I had to say my dire enemy, I'd answer: Karma. When something good happens, I'm forced down, when something bad happens, it only gets worse, so in a way it's something like karma, though maybe a bit like a nightmare turned dejavu.
This is to be my blog for however long I intend to stay, if I leave it will be sudden, uncalled for, and unexplained, it's easiest to forget that way.
Usually, I think I'd hang myself after eating my sleeping pills and whatever other drugs I could find, just to have a plan for what to do when shit royally hits the fan and I'm left with nothing but a empty dream turned nightmare. It's going to happen you know. I'll lose my love over constant arguing about how he never talks and how I'm too clingy. I'll lose my friends after I turn bitter and shun them like useless sacks of debris. And I'll lose my mind last, sanctioned by dwindling reasons to live and prospering abysmal thoughts of the best way to take the worlds attacks and repel them right back.
This is me thinking on a normal basis, no call for alarm is required, no phone calls need making, and nobody needs to tell me everything is alright, nothing ever is.
If I had to say my dire enemy, I'd answer: Karma. When something good happens, I'm forced down, when something bad happens, it only gets worse, so in a way it's something like karma, though maybe a bit like a nightmare turned dejavu.
This is to be my blog for however long I intend to stay, if I leave it will be sudden, uncalled for, and unexplained, it's easiest to forget that way.
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